Chapter 4

I became I again, floating in the vast oceansky, then falling, sinking,
spiralling down.

I landed on a web of love, every thread anchored at each end by an
invisible being, each strand a connection between them.

A beautiful spiderlady wrapped me in silk, spinning me till I became the
still-point axle around which the universe turned.

Infinity whirled by, and I was ageless.

*

Above me a spider, unmoving in the web she had stretched across the
oblique angle formed by the reed wall and the rough ‘thatch’ roof,
waiting. I couldn’t see her colour, only her silhouette against the
prickles of light that poked through the dusty bundles of dry leaves and
grass.

After watching her for a moment, I wondered where I was.

Ah. The hole, I remembered. And smoke. But that wasn’t a woven mat up
there, now.

I tried to sit up, but my muscles were too feeble.

Another moment, and I realised that my muscles were just fine; the problem
was that I was wrapped snug from neck to toes in something that held me
cosy rather than tight, but allowed no movement at all.

“My old parachute,” said a voice, as if reading my unspoken question.
“Comes in handy, that’s a fact. Like this.”

Outjie’s face appeared above mine, close enough this time that I could see
crumbs and other less identifiable sticky bits in the tangle of his beard.
He smelled of fish, marijuana, and very old sweat, as well as something
moldy that made me almost gag. He was patting a battered gas mask that
hung around his neck.

I bucked my body, trying to sit up, and found that in addition to being
wrapped, I was also strapped down, and couldn’t even move enough to make
myself uncomfortable.

Outjie’s face split into a grin that showed his yellow teeth, all there,
none missing. “My old stretcher. Handy too. Everything made to last, in
those days.”

How had he managed to immobilise me so completely? That smoke must have
knocked me out for an hour, at least. Now, I couldn’t remember anything in
between holding my t-shit over my mouth, and being here.

“So,” he said, without shifting his grin, “did you meet the Lady?”

“What lady?” even as I asked, somewhere inside me, I knew that I had, if I
could only remember.

“Everybody meets the Lady,” said Outjie. “But when you go too far, you
don’t remember. Shame. But I needed the time, that’s a fact. Ten minutes
was tight. You’re a big little bugger, and strong when you wriggle. And
heavy.”

Ten minutes? That smoke had knocked me out for ten minutes?

“What was it?” my throat felt gritty, and I could hear it in my voice.
There was a faint taste like ash in my mouth.

“Sweet lady Salvia,” he said. “The gentle Goddess. A wonderful mistress,
to be treated with great respect.”

I cleared my throat, and it made me cough. My tongue felt sticky. I sucked
in my lips, and got sand in my teeth for my trouble.

“Hang on,” said Outjie, and disappeared. Seconds later a half coconut
shell nudged my cheek. I turned my face toward it, but smelled nothing.
From the little I could see at the odd angle, it held plain water.

Realising that I couldn’t drink without a straw at that angle, he shoved
my head up with his other hand. Awkwardly, I drank. The water was warm and
tasted stale, and I prayed it wouldn’t give me the runs later, but I
forced myself to sloosh and swallow. It was a relief when the grit was all
gone from my mouth.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked as he disappeared again. I turned my
head, but couldn’t see anything but a tattered reed wall. I was in some
kind of storage space inside his hut, couldn’t see through to where he
was, but for the old flash of movement that showed through the tiny gaps
between sticks.

“No reason to make you suffer any extra, I’m not a monster,” he replied
from close by, but still out of view.

He must think I meant giving me water. “No,” I said, “why tie me up?” Why
sacrifice me, I wanted to ask, but part of me was hoping I might have
imagined that bit.

I could hear him busy nearby, sounded like he was tidying up, or packing
something.

“Just survival, little fish, just survival.”

Whatever Salvia was, it had left me feeling very normal, for which I was
grateful. Just a bit disoriented, but I couldn’t say whether that was the
drug, or the weirdness of everything else. I was glad I was able to think,
not like the one time I’d been drunk, and hung over.

“But, I said I can help you,” I tried.  “Even now, if you let me go, no
hard feelings,” I insisted.

Outjie’s face appeared above me again, further this time, he was standing,
so the smell was not as bad.

“Too late for that, little fish. If you had bought that teapot last month,
maybe, or even a week ago. Then maybe your bossman could have organised
something. But I’m no appie. I know it’s a long shot, the Truth and
Reconciliation thingie is loooong over. Even for a magazine, it’s old
news. Maybe they still want to know about Machel now, maybe they don’t
even care. Maybe they do, but it takes too long to organise. There’s only
two days left.”

Since almost nothing in that speech that made any sense to me, it was hard
to decide what was worth asking about.

Outjie stank of marijuana, but there was nothing wrong with his eyes, or
his brain. He giggled at the look on my face. “You got no clue what I’m on
about, do you little fish?”

I flushed. I was just confused, fair enough. He needn’t assume I was
stupid. “Two days left for what?” I asked, grabbing at the last thing in
his monologue.

“Before the tsunami.”

“Tsunami?”

“Big wave, big flood, drown everyone. Wash this house down.”

“I know what a tsunami is,” I snapped, “but my mom’s boss gets a three day
weather report every night. There’s no storm warnings.”

Outjie threw back his head and laughed, tapering off to a giggle. “Is that
a fact!” he said. ‘The boss man knows everything. Well let me tell you,
little fish, when it comes to this, he knows nothing. Nobody does, poor
buggers. Just Ullu’ha. Ullu’ha knows this, and she tells me. Ullu’ha does
not lie.”

“Ullu’ha?”

“My friend the hippo,” said Outjie, confirming my guess.

He looked at me, eyes narrowed, gauging my reaction to his claim that he
could understand what a hippo said. Clearly, he wasn’t insane enough to
think I’d accept that as normal.

“Just to get you clear right now,” he said, “a little proof, so they say,”
he leaned over me, bracing his hands on his knees to peer right down at
me, skinny jowls flopping above his beard and making his face even more
like a nightmare. “Ullu’ha says she saw you on the beach this morning. You
were lying on your stomach in the lagoon. You got such a fright when you
saw her, she smelled you pee in the water.”

First, I blushed. How could even a hippo know that? Then, I felt chilled.
How could Outjie know that, unless he really, truly could understand her?

“Salvia’s really some thing, that’s a fact” said Outjie. “It’s given me
gifts I couldn’t dream.”

I cleared my throat again, trying to stay focussed. “So the hippo says
there’s going to be a tsunami, and there isn’t much time to escape it.
What’s that got to do with taking me hostage?”

“Sacrifice, fishie. Sacrifice is what I said.”

The bile rose in my throat again. “So you give the hippo human sacrifices.
How is that going to stop a tsunami?”

Outjie looked puzzled “What makes you think I’m going to sacrifice you to
Ullu’ha? She eats grass, mainly.”

“The blood.”

“Blood?”

“On her skin.”

Outjie laughed that weird, squeaky, head-back laugh-into-giggle again.
“That’s just her sweat, little fish. Hippos sweat red. You didn’t know?
Well I guess you’re new to the bush. Ullu’ha tells me it’s a sort of
sunscreen, keeps her skin soft and happy. No, no. Ullu’ha doesn’t want
you. She’s not fussed about the tsunami. She knows what to do to survive
it, but me, she can’t guarantee to help. I’m the one with the problem.”

“And sacrificing me is supposed to help you how?”

“By preventing the tsunami. If I can give them a nice fresh, strong, white
tourist-boy like you, they can do what they need without sending the
flood.”

‘They?’ He must mean gods, ancestors, spirits, or something like that. I
took a deep breath, and a big risk. “Mr Botha,” I said, carefully. “Do you
really believe in that kind of nonsense? Really, truly?”

Outjie looked back at me with no sign of offense at what I’d said. That
was good. But it also didn’t seem to have made any other impression on
him, which was not.

“It’s not a question of belief, little fish. It’s as simple as the man who
makes bread at the market, or your mom making your breakfast. It’s all
quite real, and makes sense once you have all the facts. The only thing
that makes it look crazy, is when you don’t know the half of it. They say
in the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king? Ha. The one-eyed
man gets called crazy.” Outjie paused, but I had nothing to say.

“The only crazy ones are the humans, little fish,” he continued, “because
they look all around them, but it doesn’t seem to help. They look at the
world, they look on the TV, they look in the mirror but they still can’t
see. The ones who want you, are perfectly real. You will go to them, under
the sea.”

Outjie paused, letting his words sink in. Then, he turned away.

I tried to let the words sink, in, from my side too. Problem is, that
didn’t make them any easier to make sense of. The chill inside was
deepening though. Under the sea? Death is death, I guess, but of every
kind of death, the most horrible to me, was to drown in the vast green
loneliness called the ocean.

“Can’t take you in broad daylight, though, no matter how urgent,” he said,
out of view, and by the sound of it, getting back to his packing.

“Only fair to tell you, you have just a few hours left, little fish.
You’ll be alive, at least as you, until tonight.”

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After about a minute, the sudden dark that had slammed around me when the mat went down became more of a gloom, sliced through with dust-busy beams where there were holes in the weave.

Sacrifice.

Was that why the hippo was covered in blood?

Was that why the stall-holder told me I’d see a hippo at the house? Not a carved hippo, as I’d thought, but this, much-too-real beast? Was it some kind of sick pet of his?

I was sure that hippos ate pond weed or something, so how could giving it ‘sacrifices’ of meat manage to tame it?

This whole day was crazy, and getting crazier. I tried hard to believe that something being as crazy as this, meant it couldn’t be true. He couldn’t really kill me. Even a crazy white man living in the jungle with neighbours who didn’t speak my language, couldn’t get away with just sacrificing people. He hadn’t even gagged me. I would scream, and help would come. Right?

But right now, screaming would be stupid. It wasn’t like I was in real danger. If I screamed now, and someone came, I’d look like a dork, standing down here like an idiot, saying “please help me out, cos I need to take a leak.”

If only I had just taken a deep breath, gritted my teeth, and gone out on the boat this morning. Even better, if only I had swallowed my fear of looking like a wuss, and just told them I didn’t want to go out on the boat. I could have stayed in the hut on the bed and dreamed up some plot for my novel.

Either way, now I’d be sitting in the restaurant trying to face the stench of calamari, line-fish and crab from the plates around me as I tucked into my salad and chips.

I could be sitting there, right now, feeling sorry for myself over not being able to order something normal like a burger, rather than sitting here feeling sorry for myself over facing immanent death.

I corrected that thought: Possible death.

Unlikely and improbable death.

But, still possible. I couldn’t get away from that, because of the blood on the hippo, because of the way Outjie giggled, because this was Africa and people really, truly do get chopped into bits for use in muti. Was that what he was after? Thought he could magic himself off to a big mansion in South Africa, just by feeding the hippo my liver or something?

As much as I told myself to stop thinking such rubbish, I could taste this morning’s bread and coconut, acid, at the back of my throat.

“HELP, I’M STUCK!” I shouted, without letting myself think about the decision to shout. “I’M DOWN HERE! SOMEBODY GET ME OUT!”

I wasn’t encouraged by how flat and weak my yell sounded. The mat and the sand must have muffled it.

I’d have to wait till he opened up again, then I’d give it everything. Better save my voice. And be quiet, listen, so I could try again if I heard people close by.

I could be cool. I could wait.

The one thing that couldn’t wait, though, unless I wanted to embarass myself even more, was deciding which side of this sandy floor I was going to dig a bit of a hole to aim into.

*

I was just shoving sand back over the damp patch with my foot, when a corner of the mat lifted.

I braced myself ready to yell, but Outjie simply poked something through the hole, and closed up again right away. In the gloom, I couldn’t make out what it was, but, what I had glimpsed looked suspiciously like a hosepipe.

He was planning to drown me? I almost giggled, myself. He could be crazy enough to try that.

Wonderful! Then all I had to do was tread water and float till the level got high enough that I could climb out.

As long as the hippo wasn’t waiting. As long as the path was open and I didn’t have to risk the landmines.

As long as, as long as he didn’t make it just deep enough that I couldn’t stand, and couldn’t climb out. I wasn’t that fit, and I never swam by choice.

How long could I tread water?

I was just trying to gauge the exact depth of the hole, my height, and the reach of my arms and legs, when I smelt a completely unfamiliar smell. Something sort of herb-ey, not marijuana, since I’d smelt that a few times before.

This smelt more like something my mother might use in the kitchen, except she never had.

Was he going to gas me?

I pulled my t-shirt up over my nose and mouth, wishing I hadn’t just peed, since I remembered that wetting the cloth helps make more of a filter. It would have been disgusting, but…

The smell was getting clearer, so I held my breath.

It didn’t smell like gas, I told myself, didn’t smell like poison.

It did remind me, just a little, of something, now I thought about it. One time I’d watched some people ‘smudging’ each other with a feather and some sort of incense burner thing.

Maybe this was part of his ceremony. Maybe he was ‘purifying’ me.

I still held my breath, just in case.

The smoke was pouring through into the hole now, strong enough to make my eyes water. I pinched my nose harder and clenched my teeth. My ribs were tugging at my muscles, demanding air.

I did an odd sort of swallow to try and hold the reflex down.

My stomach went into spasm. I had to breathe, but what would happen if I did?

A second later, I found out.

I couldn’t hold it any longer, my guts were heaving, fighting, shoving me to my knees and as I reached to break my fall, I gasped, huge relief, and the smoke rushed into my lungs.

What happened was nothing at all, except for a fit of coughing that got me breathing again and again.

Then, something did happen.

A good thing happened.

A very good, wonderful thing, that felt very good.

Delicious…. s t r e e e e t c h.

I became very, very tall.

Tall enough that I could climb out of the pit with ease. Yay.

Except I didn’t need to climb out, because the pit was just a little dimple in the middle of me, and really, I was the whole of the sky, complete with a brain made of fairy-light stars.

The stars were diamonds in the hair of a beautiful lady, her hair was the moonlight shining down like a net to become my nerves and my veins.

Not that I needed any nerves and veins. Since I was the night sky behind her, and night sky is just vast, empty black.

So now that was me.

Vast.

Empty.

Black.